Saturday, 7 July 2012

D Day

This blog has been created as I want to share my story.  I am extracting myself from a relationship with someone who is the most controlling man I know.  You may use the word narcissist (I frequently have), and I have even used my unprofessional diagnosis by describing him and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), either way, he's 'not well'.  


I fell in love, hard.  I thought I had found my person.  And if you read any web page about the world of a relationship with a narcissist, I can tick almost every box when I think of my relationship.  I have reached my end point.  I am done.  I am unable to cope any more with his behaviour and I know, I have to be strong.  I know, I have to make the decision to be strong and brave, every day and get myself through this and out of the other side.  If writing a blog, helps one other woman, it is worth every word I write on this page. 


Today it a significant day for me.  It is one year since I told him I loved him.  I am ashamed to admit, I wanted to be with him tonight.  I saw him this morning, when he handed me a gift to note the date, and he was in tears.  Again.  I spent the day thinking maybe I ought to see him later.  I don't know why the pull of the drug was stronger today, perhaps the poignant date, but I phoned him.  I said I would meet him after a party I had to drive back from.  I asked him not to drink and he promised.  


'If there is a 1% chance of us ever being back together, I promise I wont drink tonight'.


I agreed to meet him and went to my party.  I left the party and I sent him a message as I drove away from the party.  I actually genuinely thought he would keep his promise, but no, he admitted to 'having a few drinks'.  The disappointment was enormous.  His relationship with alcohol is both terrifying and nerve wracking for me.  I said I would not meet him and on reflection, dodged a bullet, and he went mad.


'You are so f**king selfish, you are a c**t'


Closely followed by

'I love you baby, please don't do this to me, you are my world, please meet me.  Please. Please. Please. Please.  I have only had three drinks'


And in that moment, my decision was made.  This, is D Day.  This is the end.

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